With being the oldest comes responsibility. Is it responsibility I want? I want to carry through with my desires. I don't want to have to take care of everyone else. Clothilde can watch for herself, but what about Bettine? Now that Paris has come she has no need for me. Does that make me useless to the world, or jealous that she has something I want? I definitely feel jealousy. Do I want Paris or am I angry that he has taken Bettine from me. The conflict within builds and I can't help but wonder what's going to come of all this. I have to act. I will do anything, say anything.... to stop them. it's for the best.
its too late.
what have i done?
despair.
i've lost everything.
oblivion spreads.
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